We couldn't make this $h!t up if we wanted to..... #4

It's been a crazy two months!  Sorry for taking so long.  I have gotten quite a few posts from contributors but I can't find the ones I wrote down!  DOH!!  I will add more later but I want to get these on here.....

• A student to the nurse, "Ms. G, can you meet me in the hallway by the bathroom with a rubber glove.

• "They expect me to work the entire 90 minutes of the computer class on the computer?"

• "I think I pulled an Arm String!"

• Nurse - "Why does your stomach and head hurt?" 
  Student - "Because my grandpa was in the hospital yesterday."
  Nurse - How does that make your stomach and head hurt?"
  Student - "Cause a couple of people coughed on me while I was there seeing him....duh!"

• One male student talking to another male student, "Are you ready for the presidential erection?"

• We were comparing and contrasting 2 videos, one on Prehistoric Life, one on Dinosaurs. While explaining this to the students, one child asked me in a panic…”are we watching both at the same time? I don’t know if I can do that!”

• "So, like, what did you use before phones? Morse code?

• Student: “Mrs. Gassert sure looks skinnier!”
  Me: “She had a baby, you know that right?”
  Student: “She did???”

• “I thought locomotion was a dance." (lesson on human body systems- muscles)

We couldn't make this $h!t up if we wanted to..... #3

It has been a slow two weeks with crazy comments.  I am not sure if it is just because we are getting tired and FCAT is around the corner, and we aren't catching the comments as easily?  I am sure they are being said though!

Just a few from the last two weeks -

• To continue the eggs from cows debate, "Ms. Kish, please tell Mr. Jones that eggs to come from cows"

• "Ms. X, does beef jerky come from pigs?"  .....our kids have a lot to learn about animals!

• During the presentation of the Canada projects, "Mrs. Mason, did anyone do their project on Alaska?"

• Eating a tangerine, "Wow it's like these are already pre-cut"

• Stolen from a FB wall..."While reminding the students that "The Ohio State Buckeyes" are in the final 4, one student asked me if Ohio was a county in Florida...then another student told that student he was wrong, Ohio is in a different country"

• While listening to Olivia Newton John's "Hopelessly Devoted to You" a student yells out...."Hey, isn't this Whitney Houston's big hit?!"

• "You can't go tubing, there are sharks in the lake!"

We couldn't make this $h!t up if we wanted to..... #2

It's that time of week again and I have actually had a few teachers contribute this time! It is so much fun gathering comments and hearing stories that teachers tell me.  We just have to shake our head in disbelief each time one of our special students makes our day with their comments.  Keep in mind....we teach middle school students, 12-14 year olds.  That's right, we couldn't make this $h!t up if we tried! 

• "Do cows lay eggs?

• "Do you drank or eat a McFlurry?"

• Teacher - "Today we will be learning about Canada's History"
  Student - "Why do we have to learn about Canada?  The only thing they are good for is Canadian Bacon and Justin Bieber"

• "How did Harriet Tubman build all those railroad tracks?"

• 8th grade student - "It's so weird.  It's so weird, I feel like I was just in 7th grade last year."
  Teacher - "Probably because you were a 7th grade student last year."

• Student to Science teacher - "OMG is that skeleton real?"

• Teacher - "Please go ahead and letter your paragraphs.
  "Student raises his hand - "You mean like 1-2-3-4"

• Student - "I have to leave this country."
  Teacher - "Where will you go?"
  Student - "Miami"

• Student 1 - "When Canadians talk, why do they say 'Aye'?"
  Student 2 - "Yeah, why don't they say 'B'?"

We couldn't make this $h!t up if we wanted to.....

I said that I wanted to create a weekly blog about the things our students say to us.  We always joke and say we really couldn't make this stuff up even if we tried.....it's true!  The kids really did say it!

• "Ms. Kish, will your boobs grow back?"  (this has actually been asked of me twice, two years in a row)

• Going to work with a bandanna over my bald head one day and the next day with a wig...."Ms. Kish, did your hair grow back over night?"

• "Obama isn't American, he was born in Hawaii"

• "If you put airplane gas in your car, will it fly?"

• "Mrs. Mason, I can't rap, I'm Mexican!"  (creating a rap for Black History Month)

From other teachers:

• Today while taking a stroll on the trail at the Nature Reserve, a very dramatic girl shared with us that, "Birds are so lucky, they have wings" to which I tried to not burst out laughing, and she followed this revelation with, "they get to fly!" Seriously? This is a wonderful revelation for a 3 year old, but unfortunately, this child is 13.

• "Mrs. Sealey, do you have the third book in the Hunger Games series, To Kill a Mockingjay?"
• Mrs. Sealey - "There is one caveat..." Student 1 - "What is a caveat?" Student 2 - "It is rich people food, dummy."

• Student: "Heartworm is a parasite that your dog may get, it feeds of the dog's heart/blood."
  Student: "Wait, what? Dogs have hearts?"

• Me: "No, guys, human's are not prey, no animals hunt us for food."
  Student: "Miss Roth, do you cook human meat before you eat it?"
  Me: "Well, I know I'm on a new diet, but human is not on the plan!"

• Me: "No, it's more like an allergy, you cannot catch it from someone else, why?"
  Laughing Student: "Miss Roth, stop teasing, eczema are those people that wear the big furry coats in like Alaska or something."

• Me: "Okay, the first word is domain, has anyone heard this word used, and if so, in what context?"
  Student: "Oh, I know Miss Roth, it's Chinese right, like noodles or something!"

• Student: "Miss Roth, what are testes?" Me: "Um, why do you want to know?" Student: "Oh, I forgot, they are the things that octopus have, right?" Me: "Well, probably the male ones!"